The Princess Tied by Cari Silverwood
Take one Princess, literally and in all senses of the word, a man who has been to hell and back, also literally-ish, add in a fluffy creature of dubious origins, a quest to save True Love, otherwise known as Xander, and some delicious kinkiness. Stir it all well, add a great story line, cook with the heat from the sexy scenes and – voila! – you have, THE PRINCESS TIED.
“He liked that worse word far too much.”
Where do I start with this? Based loosely on The Princess Bride, this is a kinky, dub-con, thigh slapping, funny adventure of the swashbuckling kind. If Monty Python, Errol Flynn and EL James produced a menage love child, it would be this. (I know MP isn’t a person but per-lease, you get the idea! 😉) In case you’re wondering, I really liked this book, which is why it got 4 stars here, but it will be 5 stars on Amazon. I’m pedantic like that.
Po shook her head and said nothing more. This adventure was feeling less organized by the hour. She liked her facts in rows and columns. She liked them organized in folders. With notes.
Floof Machines, magical doors (can you guess them all?), giant dwarfs and mechanised men join in the fun to produce a wonderful, adventurous, questing tale. The characters are somewhat stylized, deliberately so since this is a pastiche of a pastiche of the swashbuckling films of the 20’s and 30’s. These characters are also interesting, unusual, well crafted and genuine and despite being OTT they felt believable and loveable.
Making things happen, like fires, was a new thing. Many things were new, including naked men and sex.
This wouldn’t be a Cari Silverwood book if there wasn’t some dirty, filthy smut smut. And what incredibly hot and saucy sauce it is! Dabbling in the waters of dub-con, but mainly because Po is far too proper to admit to her unusual desires, there are lots of delightfully erotic scenes to indulge our baser desires. Sorry, I meant to say to indulge Prince Drakes deviant sexual preferences. Those scenes did absolutely nothing for me, no they did not. They didn’t induce hot flushes and a need to find privacy for a little one on one time. Who shouted Liar, liar, pants on fire? Humph, ok maybe those scenes are somewhat hot.
He walked on air with lust rampant in his veins. He took a small, careful bite of her neck then released it. She tasted of sex to him – future sex.
Whilst most of the book is written from Princess Po and John’s points of view, we do get just enough from Xander to both make him ‘real’ and to add interest to the tale. The adventure is epic, crazy and, at times, weird and I loved it all. The plot canters along, with your hands tied behind your back, oops sorry that’s Po I’m thinking of. The plot moves at a good pace, with surprises, twists and easter eggs thrown in to keep your interest. I know I’ve already mentioned the activities in Prince Drakes tent, but they’re so hot they totally deserve a second intimation. Talking of intimate, despite certain events that occur during the course of the story, the ending didn’t feel awkward, forced or contrived. In fact I was very pleasantly surprised by how smoothly everything came together (#punalert).
She was sure he had an erection. Not being an expert, she had to file it under maybe.
If you’ve made it this far (TL;DR) this is a great story that I highly recommend.
Her tutors aimed to educate her in a wide range of subject, so she could rule with wisdom. Most of which, like algebra, she thought she would never use. Clocks had been quite fun, in comparison to math, autopsies, and string theory.
Title – The Princess Tied
Author – Cari Silverwood
Genre – MfM Fantasy Rom-Com
Goodreads – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53465756-the-princess-tied
“Falling in love with Xander, the has-been noble I lined up to marry, is sadly wrong.” Princess Pollianna the First, smartest royal ever.
Wrong is about to get wronger.
Square-jawed, handsome Xander gets kidnapped and his brother, John, returns from Hell. The fire in this guy’s eyes says he’s not to be messed with.
With Princess Po tied and roped over his horse, and a hand firmly clasped on her ample ass, John sets out to rescue his beloved bro, while not looking at aforesaid cute ass…or doing anything bad to it.
As he travels the roads, a ragtag band falls in around him.
True Love will light their way, except John doesn’t believe in True Love.
“As wholesome as a threesome up against a thorn-entangled wall.”
Features Fighting, Dwarf Giants, a Killer Bunny, Storytellers, True Love, Angsty Tortured Anti-heroes, Snooty Princesses, Rope, Monsters, and sundry Mayhem. And quite a lot of Steam.
Inspired by The Princess Bride. Written with naughty words.